What it's like

Firsthand experiences

Melancholic depression
Graeme's story

Psychotic depression
Shirley's story

Non-melancholic depression
Liz's story

Writing competition

Read moving firsthand accounts of depression and bipolar disorder in our writing competition pages

The experience of depression may be very different from one person to the next, depending on the type of depression the person has, and their personality and coping styles. Many of the signs of depression would be clearly evident in a person who has depression. Others may not be, as depression can often lead the person to withdraw from social contact or to hide their real feelings from those around them.

Generally speaking, someone who is depressed would:

• have a low mood
• be pessimistic
• have a lowered self-esteem
• feel hopeless and helpless.

They may want to walk away from things, for example, their job or a difficult marriage.

In some types of depression, individuals may:

• physically slow down (walking and talking more slowly OR become agitated and unable to sit still.
• find it difficult to get up in the morning
• find it difficult to initiate even basic activities like showering or dressing.

People with non-melancholic depression can sometimes be cheered up on occasions, for example by a pleasant event, or with support from a friend.

Personality styles also play a part in the effect of depression. Some people will fail to see their strengths and focus on their failings, believing they are less competent than they really are, and sinking lower into depression, while others may become angry and irritable with those around them.

Behaviour may also be affected by an individual's coping style. For instance, some people would indulge more than usual in junk food or in material possessions, while others may turn to friends for support or seek professional help. A desire to escape the despair may cause some individuals to use drugs and/or alcohol, or even to have thoughts of suicide.

Talk of suicide should be taken seriously and treatment should be sought immediately, preferably from a mental health professional or other appropriate person. (See Getting Help and Emergency Help).

How to tell if someone else has depression

Just because we know someone well does not mean we will always notice when they have changed. Big changes or sudden ones are likely to be noticed, but if someone changes slowly it is easy to miss the change. Also, even people we know well (including those close to us) will not always reveal all their thoughts and feelings. Since we cannot expect to always realise that someone is depressed, we ought not feel guilty that we 'did not know'.

The sensible approach is to be aware that depression is not uncommon and what it is. Then, if you are worried that someone is depressed, the best thing to do is to talk to them about it and take them to see a mental health professional or suggest that they go.

Links and resources:

• Depression Education Program
• Chapter 6 - Dealing With Depression : A common sense guide to mood disorders, by Gordon Parker. Allen & Unwin. A comprehensive overview of depression from an Australian experience.