Getting help
Do you think you may have Bipolar Disorder?
Do you think you may be depressed? Try our self-rating scale

Try our self-test

Do you think you may have depression?
Do you think you may be depressed? Try our depression self-test

Try our depression self-test

Online Learning
Online Learning - Bipolar Disorder Education Program

Watch our
Bipolar Disorder
Education Program

Online Learning
Online Learning - Depression Education Program

Watch our Depression Education Program

Helping someone else

Someone with a depressive illness is like anyone with an illness - they require our care.

You can provide better care if you are able to:

  • understand something about the illness
  • understand what the treatment is, why it is being given, and how long the person is expected to take to recover.

Below we provide information on the following topics:

  1. What to do if you are worried about a family member or close friend
  2. Helping the treatment process
  3. Looking after yourself
  4. Information and support for carers

1. What to do if you are worried about a family member or close friend

If you think a family member or close friend has depression or Bipolar Disorder, try talking to them about it in a supportive manner and either suggest that they consult their General Practitioner or other mental health professional, or offer to take them to see one.

Sometimes a person suffering from a mood disorder may not want to seek help. In these circumstances, explain that you are concerned about them and why, and perhaps provide them with some information - such as a book, or some information from this website - that you think might be relevant (see our Reading List). There are many other organisations that provide helpful pamphlets and information. You could also offer to assist them to seek professional help. This might take the form of finding someone with whom the individual feels comfortable talking, making an appointment for them on their behalf, taking them to the appointment on the day, and, if appropriate, accompanying them during the assessment interview. This may be particularly appropriate if the person has a severe disorder such as psychotic depression or mania.

Depression in young people, particularly adolescents, should be taken seriously, as this age group is particularly vulnerable to mental disorders. If you think your son or daughter is showing signs of depression or mania, find time when you can talk to him or her about it (preferably in a stress-free setting) and suggest that it might help him or her to feel better by getting some help. Suggest that they visit the family General Practitioner, a school counsellor, or, initially, a friend or relative with whom they feel comfortable.

There is a range of services (telephone counselling and websites) that are specifically designed for young people. See Helpful Links and Depression in teenagers and young adults.

Also see the Family Help Kit put out by NSW Health - a publication designed to help families better understand and recognise mental health problems in young people and adolescents and to provide information about where to get help.

2. Helping the treatment process

An important part of caring is to help the treatment process:

  • If medication is prescribed encourage the person to persist with treatment (especially when there are side effects).
  • Counselling or psychotherapy often results in the depressed person "thinking over" their life and relationships. While this can be difficult for all concerned, you should not try and steer the person away from these issues.
  • A resolving depression sometimes sees strong emotions released which may be hard on the carer. The first step in dealing with these fairly is to sort out which emotions really refer to the carer and which refer to other people or to the person themselves.
  • Treatment has a positive time as well - when the person starts to re-engage with the good things in life and carers can have their needs met as well.

3. Looking after yourself as well

Don't forget that as a carer you too are likely to be under stress. Depression and hopelessness have a way of affecting the people around them. Therapy can release difficult thoughts and emotions in carers too. So part of caring is to care for your own self - preventing physical run-down and dealing with the thoughts and emotions within yourself.

4. Information and support for carers:

  • Carers' NSW - Provides carer support kits, telephone assistance, support groups and other resources.
  • Access to short-term counselling for carers is available through Commonwealth Carer Resource Centre: 1800 242 636.
  • Carers' Australia
  • Association of Relatives and Friends of the Mentally Ill - Provides support groups and a telephone help line: Sydney - (02) 9805 1883, NSW country areas - 1800 655 198
  • Also see Chapter 21 - 'Living with someone with depression' in Dealing With Depression: A common sense guide to mood disorders, by Gordon Parker.
  • Johnstone, A, Johnstone M (2008) Living with a Black Dog. Pan Macmillan Australia. An illustrated insight into what it is like to live with someone who has depression and how best to help them.

Carers Book Project - Have you supported someone with depression?

Graeme Cowan is undertaking research for his second book “BACK FROM THE BRINK TOO: Supporting your loved one in overcoming depression” which will be launched in June 2008. He has already completed 300 interviews of those living with depression on how they would best like to be supported and would now like to interview their significant others to understand their needs. The survey consists of 15 mainly multiple choice questions and should only take about 5 minutes to complete. If you have any questions or difficulty accessing the survey please email Graeme@IamBackFromTheBrink.com
Click here to do the survey